We’ve all used “If…Then…:” or “When...Then…”
If I weigh X amount, then I’ll buy a dress that makes me feel great.
If I get caught up on all the laundry, then I’ll take a break.
If I have time, then I’ll go for a walk.
We don’t purposely try to stall or sabotage ourselves with these “harmless” little phrase. Our brain is trying to protect us from being hurt, from disappointment, from potential failure.
Read MoreLast weekend we had friends over to celebrate an old friend moving to town. The kids were laughitn while chasing one another through the house until they settled on Mario Kart, never to be seen again…until we announced they could have dessert :)
The adults were listening to music, eating good food, telling stories, and laughing…a lot! It was the kind of laughter that makes your cheeks hurt the next day. The kind of laughter that makes you smile just remembering it. Laughter feels good in your body, and science supports its positive benefits.
Read MoreMy clients look at me with a puzzled expression when we talk about what they do to cultivate joy in their life. These high-achieving, lovely people can’t come up with any hobbies or pleasurable activities that they currently do, and they fumble to remember hobbies and activities that they once enjoyed.
They are not a lone. Loss of joy is a real epidemic in our society today.
Read MoreFamily is your blood, and your friend family is what you create on purpose. Both are necessary and make for a richer and happier life. I'm grateful for my blood family and for my friend family, too. This weekend helped me to see that getting more deeply rooted doesn't have to change my wanderlust ways. Rather, it only means that I can have a richer connection here in the present moment because that’s really all that I know for certain. Here are some strategies to help you (and me!) strengthen our friend family.
I have been talking to my clients and in the community talks that I’ve been giving about the importance of values. When our behaviors don’t match and support our top values we feel, well...icky and blah (very technical terms). It’s as if you are driving a car with deflated tires or you are cross-county skiing outside the packed path. It makes the task (and life) feel difficult and not fun. We feel unmotivated, unhappy and engage in behaviors that aren’t healthful or helpful to our growth.
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