There is a fine line between supporting and enabling.⠀
⠀
Most of the time, crossing the fine line is innocent and done from a place of love and caring. But sometimes what we may think is supporting, caring, and loving is actually enabling an unhealthy behavior to continue and potentially causing a negative ripple effect for them and for others later on.⠀
⠀
Take a look at your own thoughts and behaviors. An honest look. Are there things you want to change but haven’t been able to shift?
It's easy not to start something when we feel that the outcome has to be perfect. It prevents us from starting. It deflates our self-esteem.
If we change our mindset to focus on progress and not perfection as the outcome, it changes our willingness to practice. Our willingness to begin. And my friends, beginning is more than half the battle.
The magic of just beginning is based on a principle called behavioral activation. The idea is that even if you aren’t feeling like doing something, you start it in a small way, knowing that once you start the behavior, you will feel activated to continue.
Read MoreWe’ve all used “If…Then…:” or “When...Then…”
If I weigh X amount, then I’ll buy a dress that makes me feel great.
If I get caught up on all the laundry, then I’ll take a break.
If I have time, then I’ll go for a walk.
We don’t purposely try to stall or sabotage ourselves with these “harmless” little phrase. Our brain is trying to protect us from being hurt, from disappointment, from potential failure.
Read MoreLast weekend we had friends over to celebrate an old friend moving to town. The kids were laughitn while chasing one another through the house until they settled on Mario Kart, never to be seen again…until we announced they could have dessert :)
The adults were listening to music, eating good food, telling stories, and laughing…a lot! It was the kind of laughter that makes your cheeks hurt the next day. The kind of laughter that makes you smile just remembering it. Laughter feels good in your body, and science supports its positive benefits.
Read MoreMy clients look at me with a puzzled expression when we talk about what they do to cultivate joy in their life. These high-achieving, lovely people can’t come up with any hobbies or pleasurable activities that they currently do, and they fumble to remember hobbies and activities that they once enjoyed.
They are not a lone. Loss of joy is a real epidemic in our society today.
Read MoreLet’s get real about overwhelm. It’s a real thing. It happens. We’ve all been there. That feeling of having so much to do but not having a clue where to start. You want to scream or cry or run away while doing both.
I've been helping my clients who feel overwhelmed for many years. It happens when little things accumulate over time. That overwhelmed feeling can happen when a few big things, often unexpected things, happen. Helping people deal with overwhelm comes easily to me, but following my own strategies is a bit more challenging.
Read MoreFamily is your blood, and your friend family is what you create on purpose. Both are necessary and make for a richer and happier life. I'm grateful for my blood family and for my friend family, too. This weekend helped me to see that getting more deeply rooted doesn't have to change my wanderlust ways. Rather, it only means that I can have a richer connection here in the present moment because that’s really all that I know for certain. Here are some strategies to help you (and me!) strengthen our friend family.
I was leaving the sauna after enjoying the last sauna of my Christmas sauna package, and I found myself hurrying down the stairs, giving a curt smile and “thanks” to the lovely owner, and whipping around to head out the door. I flung open the door, and the icy winter air took my breath away. In that very moment, I realized that I was rushing FOR NO REASON.
Read More
